I wonder sometime if I am doing the right thing. Events this year have just rushed by so quickly, like when you stand in a barren field on a windy day. Life breezes by. Sometimes the breeze is as gentle as a typical day; all the standard aspects of daily life carry themselves out. Other times it can be intense and exciting, full of adventures, relationships and memories. And of course their are those dreadful days where you feel that everyone and everything is against you.
Sooner or later you have to leave. But as you step away, you realize how much you are leaving behind. You wonder how it could be over so soon, and you do not want the sensation to leave, but you know deep down that you must because there are better things to come in the future. However you think, "what if I regret this decision?" or "what if I fail" or "what if I loose everything?"
We've all had a serious case of the "what if's" at one time or another. I always think of this condition like mental gateways to multiple alternate realities. When faced with a difficult decision you most likely end up finding yourself whipping up any potential consequences with that choice. You feel confused and annoyed that you actions will have repercussions, and that everything anyone does has consequence, whether they be good or bad. But then again, who ever said that anything was easy.
But in the end you must make a decision. You have no other choice than to pick a side. At one point or another, it is imperative that those gateways to alternate realities are sealed. But when they are, the confusion is lifted like when you remove a sleeping mask at the crack of dawn. Everything is clear once more.
Right now however, my mask is still on. I don't want to say good bye to the one who are close to me, and I don't know if I am making the right decision. But I guess at one point I'll have to settle for the potential "oh well" than continue to exist in the "what if's".
:/
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this lately too..
ReplyDelete